The Mother’s Day Cruise on the Darling A fictional Mother’s Day story from Bruce Gray

The Paddle Steamer Nile on the Darling River near Bourke. Photo contributed

Ah, when Bourke was Bourke, in the early 1900s, the PS Nile, that grand old paddle steamer, its splash, splash, splash of the paddlewheels, would be chugging along the Darling River like a tipsy aunt on a Sunday picnic.

It was Mother’s Day, and the good ladies of Bourke had donned their finest bonnets and crinolines, ready for a jaunt downriver.

Captain Walter, with a twinkle in his eye and a cup of strong spiced tea in his hand, stood at the helm. Deck hands Herb and Frank, both sporting smiles and a penchant for mischief, were busy securing the gangplank.

The twenty-five mothers clambered aboard, their chatter rising like the steam from the Nile’s stack. The air smelled of tea and scones, and the sun danced on the water like a thousand golden coins.

The ladies had decided to play “I Spy” on the outward trip. They took turns spotting everything from cheeky singlet wearing dads in the back yards to birds in the trees. Even the PS Wave, that rival steamer, got a nod of acknowledgment.

Captain Surrey blew his steam whistle in respect, his kids on board waved.

As they glided past the wharf and punt, the town came into view. The tops of the CBC bank and the Old London Bank peeked over the rooftops, as if eavesdropping on the ladies’ gossip.

Further downstream, the two-story Catholic Convent stood proud, nuns waving from the top verandah. Sister Agnes, with her stern expression, was rumoured to have once tamed a crocodile with a stern look and a ruler.

But it was the cheeky boys further down that stole the show. They swam and fished along the riverbank, their dogs barking in delight. The mothers waved, for some of these boys could well be their own sons.

And then, oh dear, the cheeky boys lined up, turned their backs, and dropped their trousers. A collective gasp went up from the ladies—their delicate sensibilities assaulted by a mooning of epic proportions.{…]

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